MSN Autos- Gas Prices
Wow... what a great site! Very useful. Verified that the Kroger near our house on Wirt is the cheapest in the area. We are lucky!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Let's Vote Early!!
I hate those long lines on voting day. Plus I usually can't find the right place, and get sent chasing wild gooses. So this year I'm taking advantage of Early Voting!!
http://scotthochberg.com/ziplist.html#early
I can go to any one of the locations listed between Oct 20 - 31 and vote!
GO OBAMA!
Don't judge me and I won't judge you :)
Disclaimer: I will probably judge you anway, but I'll do it behind your back instead of to your face.
http://scotthochberg.com/ziplist.html#early
I can go to any one of the locations listed between Oct 20 - 31 and vote!
GO OBAMA!
Don't judge me and I won't judge you :)
Disclaimer: I will probably judge you anway, but I'll do it behind your back instead of to your face.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Trying to Do Less, and Enjoy More!
I use Google Reader (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_Reader) to keep up with many, many blogs. A lot of them I just can't keep up with. This morning I was trying to get caught up on them, and came across this one:
It's a website mainly for students. I'm a part time student, but I think this kind of blog is good for everyone.
Basically it says I need to not sign up for so many projects and events. I agree because I have almost every weekend for the next month booked solid.
*I am taking Calculus II online (thank God it's only one class this semester). I have an Exam this weekend. I need to study at least 2 hours every day.
*I have a contract job that will take between 20 - 30 hours per week, depending on when I can squeeze it into my schedule. I need to work on it every day.
*Chris' birthday is this week, and his party this weekend. I still need to get his gifts together.
*I'm helping host the HRD Awards Ceremony this weekend.
*We're going to San Antonio the next weekend to watch the Bosses play.
*We're going to Seattle for WFTDA Nationals in November.
I want to reduce the amount of stress and feelings of being a loser because I just can't get it all done. I am in a book club, that only meets once a month... that is great. That is doable. Everything else seems to need RIGHT NOW all the time!
I want to join NaNoWriMo in November. I want to finish all the contract jobs so I will have more money to put towards buying a house next year. I want to start a craft club (once a month maybe?? I'd love more but don't think I can force it in). I want to spend more time with my family, my friends, my pets, and my boyfriend (not in that order).
I'm going to re-read that blog and try to give myself some breathing room in the next month, and hopefully next year I'll have a much better schedule.
NaNoWriMo
Time for me to put my money where my mouth is. Or at least make a full bodied attempt at it. NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) stands for National November Writing Month. It's amazing and horrible at the same time.
You know how you think of good ideas for new products all the time... and think if I only had a little more time, a little more money, and a little more knowledge about the product I could really make it and sell it! Yeah! Love those idea. But guess what? I never get to actually move forward with any of my 'new product' idea.
But during the month of November I have every thing I need to really get the ball rolling on the 'new book' idea that I've been tossing around for years. The NaNoWriMo community and site is like having a personal trainer pushing me to write and not be critical and just enjoy the opportunity.
I'm on it. I am going to really try this year, and not let anything get in my way.
NaNoWriMo, here I come!
You know how you think of good ideas for new products all the time... and think if I only had a little more time, a little more money, and a little more knowledge about the product I could really make it and sell it! Yeah! Love those idea. But guess what? I never get to actually move forward with any of my 'new product' idea.
But during the month of November I have every thing I need to really get the ball rolling on the 'new book' idea that I've been tossing around for years. The NaNoWriMo community and site is like having a personal trainer pushing me to write and not be critical and just enjoy the opportunity.
I'm on it. I am going to really try this year, and not let anything get in my way.
NaNoWriMo, here I come!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Battle Royale 2008, This Weekend!
I just made this post on the HRD Fan Board, and realized that I need to be talking to my friends that are kind of into derby when they have time... THIS IS THE WEEKEND TO CHECK OUT DERBY IN HOUSTON. Period.
In case it slipped past you guys, Houston Roller Derby is hosting the WFTDA Western Regional Tournament: Battle Royale 2008!
It's THIS WEEKEND! Starts at 8am on Friday and goes until 7pm on Sunday. There will be much derby, and many after parties! Check the schedule on the website to see specific bout schedule times.
**HRD's HaRD Knocks will play their first game at 12:45 (that's Noon:45) on Friday against Rocky Mountain. Please come and support them. A lot of the travel team girls just skated very intense, physical games, AGAINST EACH OTHER, and now need to come together as one united team, and a yelling screaming crazy lunatic fan base is just what they need to do it!
The track is set up similar to a normal HRD bout, so if you want a certain chair or spot on the floor, make sure to get their early!
The teams that are coming to play are BAD ASS!
Seed 1 = KC Roller Warriors ((#1 in the Nation))
Seed 2 = Rat City Rollergirls ((#3 in the Nation))
Seed 3 = Texas Rollergirls ((#5 in the Nation))
Seed 4 = B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls
Seed 5 = Rose City Rollers
Seed 6 = Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
Seed 7 = Tucson Roller Derby
Seed 8 = Pikes Peak Derby Dames
Seed 9 = Duke City Derby
Seed 10 = Dallas Derby Devils
Seed 11 = Houston Roller Derby
Seed 12 = Denver Roller Dolls
Yeah... those top three teams, you might have heard of them?! Well unless you're also planning to go to the National competition in Portland, OR this November, this weekend might be your only chance to see these teams compete. Don't miss it!
www.battleroyale08.com
Prices:
VIP (floor stage) 3 day ticket - $150.00
VIP (front row balcony) 3 day ticket - $100.00
General Admission 3 day ticket - $65.00
General Admission 1 day ticket - $25.00
20 pack of GA 1 day tickets - $20.00 each
I bought the 3 day general admission... I think that's the best value, and you will see me there running around (not on a mic, but running around just the same!) the whole time!
Check out the WFTDA website for more info on the current national rankings, current rules, and lots of other technical derby stuff: http://www.wftda.com/
PLUS there will be all kinds of good derby merchandise to buy... these shirts are just the beginning:
There will be ALL KINDS of derby paraphernalia that you just can't get anywhere else but at a major roller derby tourny.
Elle
Elle
Friday, July 11, 2008
Farmers Market... Mmmm
I have been working on my google map for a few months now. I <3 href="http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=">Elle's Google Map
(I'm going to pray that posting a map like this does not lead to stalkers. Unless it's Johnny Dep. Or Christian Bale.)
I've marked farmer's market locations around Houston (they are the sunshine icons). I visited the on McKinney last night, and it was awesome! What a great experience. Everyone there was so nice and helpful. I picked up a few great recipes, lots of great food, and even three raw meals. I've been interested in learning more about the raw diet. That dinner last night reconfirmed that raw is good! I don't know what all was in it, but it was called Pizza Bella, and it had a huge mushroom as the 'pizza' dough, tomato paste, hummas-like food, shredded carrots, nuts, and lots of other very good flavored foods... dinner was fantastic. I have a goal to eat at least one raw meal a week. I'm going to look on amazon for a good raw cooking book, and jump into it.
I also juiced last night. It was the first time I'd put strawberries into my juice, and it was great! It feels good to juice. I know it's healthy, but there is also something calming and simple about cleaning and chopping the veggies and fruits to get them ready for the juicer. It centers me.
Then we went and jogged/speed walked last night. Just the little bit of walking we've been doing this week has given me more energy. The only thing is it hurts my legs. I don't know if my shoes are just worn out, or if skating for so long made these particular muscles week, but the muscles and/or tendons on the front of my leg above my ankle really hurts. It hurt to walk to my office this morning. I have some of that amazing rub stuff that will make it feel better, but I left it at home. It's kind of like a shin split, only lower and not as debilitating.
I was so excited to spread the word that I took pictures of the farmers market:
I tried to take a picture of the new park on McKinney. They have a dog park, and I will be back with my puppies!
They have these stationary canopy booths, and behind is one beautiful statue that kind of looks like legos.
(I'm going to pray that posting a map like this does not lead to stalkers. Unless it's Johnny Dep. Or Christian Bale.)
I've marked farmer's market locations around Houston (they are the sunshine icons). I visited the on McKinney last night, and it was awesome! What a great experience. Everyone there was so nice and helpful. I picked up a few great recipes, lots of great food, and even three raw meals. I've been interested in learning more about the raw diet. That dinner last night reconfirmed that raw is good! I don't know what all was in it, but it was called Pizza Bella, and it had a huge mushroom as the 'pizza' dough, tomato paste, hummas-like food, shredded carrots, nuts, and lots of other very good flavored foods... dinner was fantastic. I have a goal to eat at least one raw meal a week. I'm going to look on amazon for a good raw cooking book, and jump into it.
I also juiced last night. It was the first time I'd put strawberries into my juice, and it was great! It feels good to juice. I know it's healthy, but there is also something calming and simple about cleaning and chopping the veggies and fruits to get them ready for the juicer. It centers me.
Then we went and jogged/speed walked last night. Just the little bit of walking we've been doing this week has given me more energy. The only thing is it hurts my legs. I don't know if my shoes are just worn out, or if skating for so long made these particular muscles week, but the muscles and/or tendons on the front of my leg above my ankle really hurts. It hurt to walk to my office this morning. I have some of that amazing rub stuff that will make it feel better, but I left it at home. It's kind of like a shin split, only lower and not as debilitating.
I was so excited to spread the word that I took pictures of the farmers market:
The fruit and vegetables here are awesome!! Get out and support your local grower!
I tried to take a picture of the new park on McKinney. They have a dog park, and I will be back with my puppies!
They have these stationary canopy booths, and behind is one beautiful statue that kind of looks like legos.
I didn't take pictures of all the booths, but there was they typical fruit/ veggie booth, Indian food (delicious), raw food (still delicious), gelato (I had to stop somewhere!), bath and body stuff, plus hats. And cc's are welcome! Go check it out.1500 McKinneyThursdays 4pm - 7pm
Plus I passed out some HRD Season Ticket Cards and helped spread the word about the game this Sunday. I expect a small gang to show up. I hope they do. This is going to be a great bout to be at.
Oh... and also I just found out what I made on my recent Calculus Exam... 100 baby!! That's right... I'm making A's and takin' names! If all the fruits and veggies don't give me more brain power school definitely is!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Stars & Stripes Pre Bout Writeup
Stripes
MS. TREATMENT -CAPTAIN
DOMIN8TRIX -CO-CAPTAIN
BLINDSIDE
CHAINSAW CHIC
CLAUDIA VAN DAMAGE
DIXIE CUPPS
EL POLLO MUERTA (BLASPHAMY)
IVANA B SEDATED
JEKYLL AND HEIDI
MARY CHOPPINS
PRIVATE BEENJAMMIN
ROSIE THE RIBHITTER
SICK NICK
DAILEY BEATINGS (INJURED)
LULU LOCO (MAY NOT SKATE)
PRINCESS PROZAC (INJURED)
PUNITIVE DAMAGE (INJURED)
Stars
TEX OFFENDER -CAPTAIN
DEATH BY CRACKER -CO-CAPTAIN (CHICKEN)
BRAT POISON
CREEPING BEAUTY
HOLLA PAIN YO
HOT WAD (HOT ROD)
LUANIMAL
MAJOR MAYHEM
QUEEN OBSCENE
RAVEN KNOCKAHOE
REBEL ANN
TEMPESTUA
WRECKHELL WELCH
CHEWCIFER (INJURED)
DOUBLE TREBLE (INJURED)
MATA SCARI (INJURED)
SCARLET O'HURTYA (INJURED)
Both teams have skaters that are alternates for HaRD Knocks, so the exact roster might change before Sunday.
Just reviewing the rosters it looks like each team is equally matched. I see at least 3 capable jammers on each team. It looks like the Stripes are a little heavy on strong blockers. I color coded each player according to her team above. Let's look at the tally per team:
.Stripes / Stars
SIRENS 5 / 2
BOSSES 3 / 5
BRAWLERS 2 / 5
BETTIES 3 / 1
OOoohhh... look at that... the Stripes are Siren heavy, and the Stars are a combo of Boss/Brawler heavy. That's a good mix to have.
Any good team needs a strong leader. Someone to push the team in the same direction. I think Tex is a very capable captain, as proven many times. This will be a test for Ms T, but one that I think she'll pass with flying colors. Anyone that knows her respects her. She sets the pace, and never gives up. Her team will follow and skate hard up until the very last whistle.
On the Stripes team I see that PBJ is back, and she'll be aching to get out there and prove to herself and her team that she is back with a vengeance. Like I said before this team looks blocker heavy- these girls like to hit and I don't see them backing away from their home team teammates out on the track. And this strong defense might be just what MsT needs to really play her best and score those points as jammer.
On the Stars team I see Holla Pain Yo being put into the lineups as jammer very often. And even though I don't see this team as being as blocker heavy as the Stripes, they are Pivot heavy. With Tex, Death by Cracker (aka Chicken), Creeping Beauty, and Rebel Ann all being known for their Pivoting skills, this is the team that will be setting the pace for every single jam.
Bouts like this are an opportunity for each skater to shine. To mix it up, and be put into a different environment is good for the individual. Instead of being stuck in a certain position and not utilized, each Star and Stripe will be expected to grow as an athlete and bring something to the track that otherwise is rarely asked of them.
Of course I will be cheering for both teams, and I wouldn't put money on either one. This will not be a competitive bout for ranking, but a fun bout where each girl really has nothing to lose, and everything to gain by putting it all out there and really letting it rip.
The Texecutioner vs HaRD Knocks bout will be spectacular, no doubt. But I also expect some amazing plays by these two topsy-turvy teams.
Elle McFierce
ps- I'll probably be announcing for this bout. I had a great time announcing the two Jopa bouts this month. I'll be a back up announcer as the need arises. That reminds me that I miss the Colonel's Pod Casts!
MS. TREATMENT -CAPTAIN
DOMIN8TRIX -CO-CAPTAIN
BLINDSIDE
CHAINSAW CHIC
CLAUDIA VAN DAMAGE
DIXIE CUPPS
EL POLLO MUERTA (BLASPHAMY)
IVANA B SEDATED
JEKYLL AND HEIDI
MARY CHOPPINS
PRIVATE BEENJAMMIN
ROSIE THE RIBHITTER
SICK NICK
DAILEY BEATINGS (INJURED)
LULU LOCO (MAY NOT SKATE)
PRINCESS PROZAC (INJURED)
PUNITIVE DAMAGE (INJURED)
Stars
TEX OFFENDER -CAPTAIN
DEATH BY CRACKER -CO-CAPTAIN (CHICKEN)
BRAT POISON
CREEPING BEAUTY
HOLLA PAIN YO
HOT WAD (HOT ROD)
LUANIMAL
MAJOR MAYHEM
QUEEN OBSCENE
RAVEN KNOCKAHOE
REBEL ANN
TEMPESTUA
WRECKHELL WELCH
CHEWCIFER (INJURED)
DOUBLE TREBLE (INJURED)
MATA SCARI (INJURED)
SCARLET O'HURTYA (INJURED)
Both teams have skaters that are alternates for HaRD Knocks, so the exact roster might change before Sunday.
Just reviewing the rosters it looks like each team is equally matched. I see at least 3 capable jammers on each team. It looks like the Stripes are a little heavy on strong blockers. I color coded each player according to her team above. Let's look at the tally per team:
.Stripes / Stars
SIRENS 5 / 2
BOSSES 3 / 5
BRAWLERS 2 / 5
BETTIES 3 / 1
OOoohhh... look at that... the Stripes are Siren heavy, and the Stars are a combo of Boss/Brawler heavy. That's a good mix to have.
Any good team needs a strong leader. Someone to push the team in the same direction. I think Tex is a very capable captain, as proven many times. This will be a test for Ms T, but one that I think she'll pass with flying colors. Anyone that knows her respects her. She sets the pace, and never gives up. Her team will follow and skate hard up until the very last whistle.
On the Stripes team I see that PBJ is back, and she'll be aching to get out there and prove to herself and her team that she is back with a vengeance. Like I said before this team looks blocker heavy- these girls like to hit and I don't see them backing away from their home team teammates out on the track. And this strong defense might be just what MsT needs to really play her best and score those points as jammer.
On the Stars team I see Holla Pain Yo being put into the lineups as jammer very often. And even though I don't see this team as being as blocker heavy as the Stripes, they are Pivot heavy. With Tex, Death by Cracker (aka Chicken), Creeping Beauty, and Rebel Ann all being known for their Pivoting skills, this is the team that will be setting the pace for every single jam.
Bouts like this are an opportunity for each skater to shine. To mix it up, and be put into a different environment is good for the individual. Instead of being stuck in a certain position and not utilized, each Star and Stripe will be expected to grow as an athlete and bring something to the track that otherwise is rarely asked of them.
Of course I will be cheering for both teams, and I wouldn't put money on either one. This will not be a competitive bout for ranking, but a fun bout where each girl really has nothing to lose, and everything to gain by putting it all out there and really letting it rip.
The Texecutioner vs HaRD Knocks bout will be spectacular, no doubt. But I also expect some amazing plays by these two topsy-turvy teams.
Elle McFierce
ps- I'll probably be announcing for this bout. I had a great time announcing the two Jopa bouts this month. I'll be a back up announcer as the need arises. That reminds me that I miss the Colonel's Pod Casts!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Revival of the juicer
I feel a revival. I cleaned my kitchen last night, then I juiced. It's been a long time, but it was great. I love juice. Plus with my vegetarian diet (plus fish) I need the extra vitamins and minerals that juicing provides. And it just makes me feel good. After the juice Chris and I went speed walking for about an hour. We both jammed out to our iPods and it was really nice. The weather was perfect. I had to take a shower as soon as we got home, but that just made it easier on me this morning.
I kicked butt at work yesterday. I finished up multiple projects and feel like I have enough energy to plow through anything. I hope this feeling stays long enough for me to clean the whole house :)
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Beginning of Summer 2008
I have promised myself to start blogging more. Starting today. Right now. And I can be funny, or not. No pressure. I don't have too much time today, so here's the short short update.
Miss reading other blogs... www.getugly.org/blog/ in particular. Subscribed to rss feed and all is better with the world.
I made an A on my first Calculus exam. I have my second exam tomorrow that I'm actually excited about. I'm taking 2 online summer courses, and I'm kicking their asses. Go me.
I've been walking my dogs everyday and I love it, and they love it.
I announced the bout last Saturday, and it looks like I'm going to be announcing again this upcoming Saturday. I gotta figure out something cute to wear!! Oh, plus practice not sounding like an idiot on a mic.
Work is good. Chris is fabulous.
Book club is still very cool. I just finished Julie & Julia, and I'm not providing a link because I do not endorse this book. It's one of the reasons that I'm jumping back on my blog. Let's just say that people like her shouldn't write, and people like me should. Ha. There I go showing off my big ego again. Oh well.
Lately I've been obsessed with budgeting and saving money for a house. I'm into my second month of budgeting and think it's one of the smartest things I've ever done.
Okay. That's all for now. I'll end this blog with a picture of Bella hanging her head out the door. Loving life to it's fullest.
Puppies
Miss reading other blogs... www.getugly.org/blog/ in particular. Subscribed to rss feed and all is better with the world.
I made an A on my first Calculus exam. I have my second exam tomorrow that I'm actually excited about. I'm taking 2 online summer courses, and I'm kicking their asses. Go me.
I've been walking my dogs everyday and I love it, and they love it.
I announced the bout last Saturday, and it looks like I'm going to be announcing again this upcoming Saturday. I gotta figure out something cute to wear!! Oh, plus practice not sounding like an idiot on a mic.
Work is good. Chris is fabulous.
Book club is still very cool. I just finished Julie & Julia, and I'm not providing a link because I do not endorse this book. It's one of the reasons that I'm jumping back on my blog. Let's just say that people like her shouldn't write, and people like me should. Ha. There I go showing off my big ego again. Oh well.
Lately I've been obsessed with budgeting and saving money for a house. I'm into my second month of budgeting and think it's one of the smartest things I've ever done.
Okay. That's all for now. I'll end this blog with a picture of Bella hanging her head out the door. Loving life to it's fullest.
Puppies
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Break In
My car got broken into last night. It's been a long time since I've blogged, and there have been lots of great things going on... but it only takes one bad thing to really shake things up. I found out that I could file a police report online. That was pretty cool. Considering.
I've been listening to Dave Ramsey a lot lately. I bought his audio book Total Money Makeover. Chris listened and loved it too. We're getting on the same page with regard to making money and keeping it.
I made an A in both my PreCalculus and Government classess this Spring. I've registered for Calculus I and Intro to Pyschology for the Summer.
We went to the HRD bout this last Sunday. It was a blast. They games were great. The skaters are getting better and better. I'm still helping with Art, and put in around 20 hours per week on that. I have a few things due by the weekend. I'm glad to help out where I can, but I'm also looking forward to getting all of my free time back next year.
I want to buy a house. I'm working on fixing my credit and improving my score. I'm also working on saving up a big downpayment. I want to do it the smart money way. It's hard when I don't know enough about it... but I'm learning.
My job is great. I really enjoy working with my coworkers... they are really cool people. I'm lucky to have them around.
I've done 2 yoga classes this week. I'm trying to get back into yoga. I think one of the reasons I didn't freak out this morning when I saw my car had been broken into was because of Yoga last night. It'll be repaired and replaced. And at least they didn't take the car. It could have been much worse. Reminds me that we need to go around the house and take pictures of all of our 'stuff', as well as write down the serial numbers. I don't want to have to fight with an insurance company in the case that our house gets broken into.
Chris, Shanon and I went to the beach weekend before last. It was awesome. We even got in the waves for a while. I'm excited about getting out in the sun more this summer. We flew kites and I did not get burnt. It was a really great day.
My nephew was in another play recently. The kids were adorable. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ellemcfierce/sets/72157605044917580/
Monday, January 7, 2008
Bella the Beautiful
It's not okay that my hair cuts cost $30 and Bella's cost $50. But damn it she's worth it.
She looks like the flying dog from Never Ending Story, right?!
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep.. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur-niture .)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep.. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur-niture .)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
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